I Was a 12 Year Old Rock Star

Today is June 9th. I was awake at 5:10 a.m. I will do my best to stay positive. Even though I swore that this new site would help me to be as positive as possible, I am failing. I mean during torrid storms, during communication breakdowns, and especially when others aren’t quite on the same page, I would conquer all aspects of our very existence, and maintain a unity of grand, and effervescent greatness, if I wasn’t so ill tempered. Then yesterday happened. I knew not to trust people making a left turn at the local intersection. That would involve three lanes in either direction, left and right, along with two additional turn lanes (just before the corner) in each direction. Going straight, in the opposite direction a sleepy drive with shade trees, and plant life sits waiting. I would always check for an oncoming vehicle getting ready to strike as I was walking at the signal. With more than even 19 seconds left to make it all of the way, folks should be looking. Those people that I feel that I need to check out, as far as I can surmise, have so very often beaten those starting to walk, before such a person was even about 1/2 way. For me that would mean I have maybe even about 20 to 24 seconds to finish my crossing. Just last week a man with his wife and a baby stroller, started to cross at a one lane light with a parking/turn lane as well. To be truthful the stroller may have only had a bag of potatoes inside, yet because the street was narrow, I wanted to be even more cautious. The guy behind me didn’t want to be stuck behind the fellow on our left getting ready to turn. I was turning right. That punk mother-fluffer started to honk! I mean he was like “hey guy, if you had just punched it, beating those two with the stroller, I could be going straight already. I got out of my car ready to beat the crap out of this fellow about my age. (I am 66!) He finally realized that he was being an idiot. I returned to my driver’s seat and still had time to pull around on that soft right-hand turn, just after the trio(?) finished their crossing. I know that it’s a picky rule, but technically one is supposed to wait for the pedestrian to finalize their action. Whether or not the rule is stretched for 3 to 5 lane roadways is moot. If I reach the safe(?) middle, you are not supposed to try and beat me, coming around at a high speed. I may be retired, and 66, when I take three of my pain pill I am like a rock of thunder! So this young lass from yesterday, even though she had no directional on, and was definitely trying to beat me, at least at first, claims that she is going to do “something” about it. I said look “I had Driver’s Ed. back in ’75, and I know good and well, that you never did! She didn’t deny it but asked “so I never did, I never did, huh? I need to get through the next year without anyone getting me so super-pissed! If you are wrong, and I am definitely in the right, my brother, may god help you! Now I have to look out for this young lady (young enough to be my Granddaughter), each and everyday for the next two or three years. I mean if her beau, or whoever he is, is with her, he is goin’ down my man! The other new enemy that I met a few weeks back, thought I was after his wife. He looked like a “Black” Puerto Rican Man, with his wife still in the house, quite obviously way more Spanish than anything else. I’m like “Dude, you need to step off”. He went for a gun! He was faking it. He claims “I saw you looking in my windows, I saw you checking her out. I have a little pointy beard, and a curly moustache, but look more like a cigar guy from the 1600s, than any Spanish man at all. (I also have a limp, and other physical maladies, so am really, really trying to be in a good mood, as often as possible.) So Dude says “that’s right, you’re an old man, that’s why I’m letting you go, this time!” Oh well. Now I have to look around corners, while running across “stop-sign” crossings, and taking the long way around. I say here and now “God be with me, be with me in my hour of need!” Amen